You know what my favorite thing to do is? Well, I have a couple relating to the topic. I like to sit somewhere and hold my breath while I raise my shoulders and feel my collarbone. I love collarbones, well...visible ones. My left one is visible most of the time, but my right one, I have to work on it. My goal? To be able to have both beautifully visible. My other favorite thing? It's my love-hate relationship. I like to get up in the morning and go to school and work and starve myself. I love the feeling of my stomach asking me for food and me punishing it by not feeding it. I like when my coworkers get angry at my for not eating. I love when they try to shove food down my throat. I like eating though. It's weird isn't it? That's why I'm different, I do end up eating after the day is over (Mon, Wed, Fri at 5pm, Tues at 7pm and Thursday at 6pm) I only have one meal a day, mostly due to the fact that I have no time and because I don't like to cook...actually, I do like to cook, but for other people....and frankly, it just takes too much time. I like sucking on cough drops. I drink water...too much sometimes, it's the only thing my roommate and I have.
I am completely over energy drinks, they make me sick. Sometimes I drink "coffee" (1/4 coffee and 3/4 milk). If I have to eat, it fits into this criteria: Carby, Cheesey, Kosher. Like a good Jew, I eat bagels. I have been really good at keeping kosher. I love it, because it is just another excuse for me to avoid bad foods. I have not had a cheeseburger in a while. Cheeseburgers are delicious, but I have grasped the fact that I will probably never have on again. Those Boca burgers aren't too bad are they?
I love meat. I like steak. I like yummy carne seca from El Salvador. There is something about that saltiness that makes my mouth melt. I wish I could have a carne asada right now. By itself. Have you noticed that when you have meat (cow, obviously) accompanied with anything else, it feels so incredibly heavy on your tummy? I hate that....those are the times I resort to doing it. I like meat by itself...then it's just perfect.
You know what's even better though? Fish. But only if it has both scales and fins, of course. Fish is so light and it makes me feel great and healthy...almost as if I had nothing to eat.
I tried the living off cigarettes, coffee and gossip, but then I got sick. My throat was not made to withstand the smoke, no matter how good the oral fixation. And you already know my deal with coffee. The gossip is always good. But sinful.
and cocaine? well....obsolete.
plus when I found out the callous overachieving (( أشين )) kids were doing it, it turned something off.
Touché, Mel.
I don't exercise...maybe yoga once in a while...and maybe I'll run and do some cardio once in a long while, but really? I just don't exercise...
They say sex is great exercise....but again, I don't exercise.
you wanna know something? Last time I saw my mother she told me I looked thinner (but of course, if you only knew what poor diet I have!). You know what though? That was the first time she has ever told me that. That little utterance alone made me more happy than if she were to congratulate me on my success as a college graduate humanitarian. That's normal.
So I've decided to keep it up...I'm still healthy.
I still eat. I would never stop eating...I think.
And like I said, I'm different. I can control it. I only do it on those special occasions. I NEED it to have at least some sort of control over my chaotic life.
The Decemberists are doing it for me today...
and maybe some ABBA..."you are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen"
-melidee
