.a ship in an empty bottle of wine ...don't you love what is intangible?

what???!!! another post already?

the truth is, I can't sleep & it's only the third day back. I really need to fix my sleeping problem before it gets out of hand. Anywho, as I thought about all the things I needed to do, I began to get more and more excited. I know it sounds weird, but I am happiest when I am stressed and under a deadline. Remember, I'm a deadline baby. However, I began to evaluate all the things that I want to accomplish within school and I wondered if I was doing too much. I came to the conclusion that I only live once, and that I will not waste my potential best years on slugging around my apartment pretending to study and be good. So what if I go out on weekends, AFTER work? I figure that as long as I learned my lesson about alcohol etiquette , I shall be fine. So as I looked at the near future and thought about the exciting classes I am taking I began to feel a void. So suppose I get this new job, suppose I keep my old one too. Suppose I keep to my schedule and do good in my classes and suppose I continue with EC, AGTV and join either the California Aggie or IRSA...and suppose I socialize and network like I never have before, then what? In no way am I demeaning any of these aspects of my life, it's just that I finally got to thinking about love....(uh, even mentioning that words creeps me out). I am beginning to think that the thing that is missing in my life is just someone to share all of my plans and goals with and having someone share theirs with me. I need my incentive.

The problem with these boys I come across in davis is that they are all just under perfect. Well, they are way below the average of perfect. Mind you, I'm not talking about looks. Actually, I am quite particular to unique looking fellows, however they must have their killer personality. I try, though, I really try! Okay, so maybe I don't try as hard as I claim, but that's only because from a distance I can already see these guys aren't for me.
Let me break it down for you:

The Frat Boy- can be subdivided into three categories:

The "White" Frat boy i.e. traditional Greek frat boys, paddles, beer kegs, spiky blond hair, surfer/snowboarder, probably likes Linkin Park or something.. a bro, you could say. I was never particularly into white guys, they are just a little too blah-factor for me. Plus, the whole date rape thing is a real turn off...haha, just a joke..get a sense of humor! No, but really, as I attended these parties, I noticed their particular preference to girls that are the polar opposite of me, and you know what? I really didn't care...there is just nothing there...except maybe a fun night.

Then there is the "Cultural" frat boy, ya know, the one into identifying with their culture whether it be Latino, Asian, Black or Middle Eastern. These guys are hardcore reppin' all the time, they take their Greek shizz seriously, a little too much sometimes...their pride and aggression shows me sign of weakness and insecurity. Why? Well, why does someone need to rep something so badly? They need a sense of belonging. These guys are some of the sweetest you'll ever meet, but I'm not too particular to the hardcore reppin' bit.

Then there is the "business" frat boys, I don't particularly know much about them but I do know that they have their shizz together. They take pride in the fact that they are here for school and for the advancement of their career. Like, duh, so perfect right? That's what I think too! Yeah, but then these guys have their plans for life, they know exactly what they want, including their love interest. I do not see much spontaneity or affection in that relationship. I know what I want in life, but I also know what I do not want....to be someone's fiancé by senior year.


Then there are the boys who are involved in other stuff around campus....they are pretty cool, because I am involved in stuff too, ya know? Well, yeah but these other organizations take over these kid's lives. I guess I'm not one to talk since I am in the same boat, but still..I see no potential there.

Then there's the indie/too cool for anyone/hipster boys......enough said.

Then there is nerdy boys....wait? you are in college and are still categorizing people into a nerdy section??!! What? I never said it was a bad thing, if anything, I think it's great. Nerdy, why? Well, socially awkward, immature, arrogant about his knowledge (and occasionally shout out the wrong answer, hilarious), and sometimes not even nice! I have come to the conclusion that nerdy boys are some of the meanest boys I've ever interacted with. Maybe it's because they are emotionally hurt from past traumatic experiences, but still...if they don't get over that and their STUPID ANIME AND VIDEO GAMES AND GROW UP, they will never progress in the love department.

then there is the average boy....doesn't do much, doesn't dress particularly inclined to anything, doesn't seem dumb or irresponsible but not particularly smart either, isn't involved in anything....he's just kinda....average.

then there are the international students, most of whom are gorgeous and obviously bright and cultured....too bad there is lack of communication.

then, of course, in GRAND tradition of melidee, there are the gays....two kinds: the ones who are fully out and fabulously flamboyant and the ones who have their head peered out of the closet. I usually fall for either, but it's worse when they are not fully out because I see potential.

then there is the lowlife deadbeat who only comes to college parties to drink up the booze and try to get some college ash but is actually just a small towner from around the area...hahahahahahah yeahhhhhhh right, do I even need to elaborate?

then there are the ghetto boys. There is something kinda interesting about them and their style. I am intrigued by the way that their hometown (usually the bay) influences them in such a strong way...and they are usually gorgeous...but once you hear them say, "that's hella tight..wat it do? holla atcha boi, yaddaamean?" oh dear...that's fun sometimes, but when I realize that's the way they speak, I freak out.

then my two personal favorites: The Arab boys and the Jewish boys...both originating from my favorite culture, they are just so fascinating. They usually hang around with other people of their culture and are also big in reppin' their culture, although slightly less obnoxious than the cutural frat boy. The problem with them? nothing...except for the fact that they usually want to marry within their race/religion . I swear I keep kosher and am 1/4 Middle Eastern!

then there are my amazing brilliant professors....who are all married
and my amazing brilliant T.A.s.....who are working on their dissertation.

so, obviously there just are no boys in davis for me.

or maybe it is I who has the problem?
I just want a fun, brilliant, spontaneous, organized, chill, cultured, ethnic but American-adapted, trilingual, semi-stylish, tasteful musician/social scientist grad student boyfriend! Is that so much to ask for?

We are told to be unconventional…..but what happens when the unconventionality becomes conventional?


p.s. any thoughts about New Hampshire primary?? who didn't see THAT coming?
I called Hilary's victory last week. They gotta keep it drama-infested so people keep interested, duh. Right now no one is looking good...I need to move out of the U.S.

Bright Eyes "Ship in a Bottle", obviously.

-melidee