The day has arrived! Here's a photo of my best friend and me Skyping hours before graduation day! She goes to UCSC and I go to UCD and we just so happen to be graduating on the same day, at the same time. It sucks because we both wanted to be at each others ceremonies but we figure the mystical universe wants us to have a deeper spiritual connection by experiencing the same life-altering symbolic ritual at the same exact time. There is no way I can even begin to describe what I am feeling right now but it's mostly anger. I attempted to decorate my cap by adding one of my favorite quotes: "You must now live what you've been reading about" (Shams to Rumi) but utterly failed so I had to cover it up with some ridiculously glittery, girly hearts. My cap now represents everything I did not want it to. Alas, it's only a cap...but, really, to me, it's more like an event I've waited for 18 plus years; graduating from college and transcending into that elite 25 percent of the population is the most bittersweet moment; it is something I needed to do in order to validate myself; to whom? I don't even know. It just sucks because you'd think that for an event you have waited for almost two decades for, things would be going a bit better. You'd think that people so close to you, a family member say, would be more considerate on this most special of days. I have learned to live life with as little expectations as possible. I am not stressed in the least bit, I just want this to be over with. I wish I didn't feel this way, I have waited way too long to be this nonchalant. I remember being a little girl in the back seat of my dad's car, looking out the window, daydreaming of this day that felt like an absolute eternity to come. I have to be up in 2 hours sleep then wake up, to prepare the mimosa I will be drinking before the ceremony and get myself excited. I did write "alhamdulillah" on one side of my cap and that makes me feel a bit better about the entire situation. You were so young, baby, you were so young. In a few hours, my life will change forever (So dramatic, am I not?). Inshaallah, it all goes well; better than my finals were, at least. I'll post pics soon, I have tons of stuff to update on.
Please disregard typos, terrible writing and/or incoherency, it's 4:50am and I'm need to be up at 6:00am.
Seasons "Homesick Atom"
-melidee
