..cause all I think about is your hands, your face and all these lonely nights....

..okay so I've been doing so much thinking..college, its fun..but the lifestyle can be too addicting...this weekend i took it pretty chill...hung out with wendizzle and just stayed home and watched movies...omg Ryan Gosling in that movie Half Nelson and Stay he is AMAZING, one of the best actors of our time and not to mention a total hottie....but anyways all night long I felt like going out...its that lifestyle that does not allow me to just want to stay home...uhh, i hate it...i hate parties and that lifestyle..its so ridiculous and pretentious and yet i find myself wanting to do it. Why? because its Davis dammit...

i love The Rolling Stones...I'm listening to "Little Red Rooster"...i love the blues...
so i was thinking, could it be that this so called 'emo' be our version of the blues? I mean come on, lets face it, the blues will never be as pure as they were back in the day [though i know we have great contemporary artists]but as we evolve, so does our music....just a thought...

so I am staring into the face of the one who i could not have...
why is that? why do i push others away? why can't I conform? why is it that i continue thinking about that one, the one who is long gone....and why can't i like the ones who are still here in front of me begging for a time of day? I guess that is life....yeah..and sometimes we make wrong choices, but that is how we learn, through the heartache...but what if we don't learn from the heartache? what if we continue to make the mistakes...

so i chopped my hair off...i needed to get rid of all the bad stuff in my life, the weird thing is that i still feel that my life is a mess...i need the sweet escape...[I'm listening to the song] i need to get out..meet new peeps...don't get me wrong, i love my peeps, but I need more options...

I need my own world...I need something, that something that is going to keep me here...my anchor...

so I have not done laundry for like a month...I'm surprised I have enough clothes to last me, but I shall get it done soon...tuesday maybe?

I've been having some bad thoughts...I feel bad..I need something..I just don't know what it is..what I have in life not is not suffice...there is something out there..i shall find it soon...

heres my new hair.










well off to bed, my roomie needs her good night sleep...
I shall get in the habit of writing everyday..its a good release...

my recommendation for today----> Hanson's "If Only"
and for those more into the punk scene--->The Havoc's "Selective Service"


-melidee