this upcoming week is going to be the most intense week of my life. I can already feel myself crying because I overslept and missed the bus or running 5 miles because the tea made my belly bloat. I truly believe that this upcoming week will be one of the most defining of my life, even more so than that fateful day in May 2006. Never have I felt so great about my classes; with that, however, self-doubt comes trying to creep in.
Okay so none of that bleh stuff, basically here's how it's going down:
In exactly a week, I have a 10 page term paper due; the topic is amazing (terrorist groups versus guerrilla groups) and there is tons of information. Even cooler is the fact that my final essay for UWP (due the same day) lingers on the same subject matter. My analysis on La Battaglia di Algeri will deal with the controversial topic of ethics; not just the ethics we play up but the ethics of 'the enemy' that we tend to play down. Besides France and and Algeria, I'll explore an array of gangsters as well as our current 'Jihad situation' in terms of ethics (and the ridiculous elasticity of it all) and no, I'm not writing about something I just learned just to sound cool; I could really give a shit; the only people I need to impress are my TAs. They're the ones who are doing the grading and ultimately deciding what grad school I'll be attending.
Blah, whatever. That same day I have my oral midterm for arabic, where I will need to talk about the most ridiculous things. To tell you the truth, I haven't even started writing my paragraphs, which is almost murder-suicide. To add to my already heavy day, my final macroeconomics homework is due that day. Honestly, I'm loving macro, but this whole fiscal and monetary policy thing is going over my head (perhaps it's not a good idea to fall asleep during lecture?). Did I mention that Thursday is also the last day before finals? (or dead day, if you want me to be exact). Whatever, the point is that more is riding on these upcoming 8 days than will be during finals.
Fiscal close is coming up too and work is getting slightly insane. I will be pulling almost full time right up until I leave for Santiago; I mean it's cool because I'll have more spending money, but really? come on.
I've never missed my family more than right now; it is rather unfortunate that I cannot afford a ticket home; I would really love to see them. I have been extremely nostalgic lately. I ALMOST believed that I wanted to go back to high school, at least for a day. God, what the fuck was I thinking; I mean really?! I'm way too full of myself to go back, right? But, you know? I believe in you, darling. so much.
Despite it all, honey, I think that these 8 days will be the most amazing of my life; I will do it all. I'll lose so much sleep, I'll cry so much; I'll be speaking arabic on the bus and dreaming of Schafik and Yasser, I'll make myself throw up, I'll go to the uni party and kiss my new, I'll exercise like crazy, I'll do it all....the point is, I'll do it. Liimehda? I believe in myself.
what a mess we've made of ourselves, eh?
It's better that way.
but really? who did you think I was?
-melidee
