"the blame game..."

she took one good look at the cover of People magazine with Lindsay Lohan on the cover

...and she went about saying:

"...this pathetic little girl, I believe you have met her; in high school or something? Yeah, sometime in your adolescence. However, with all the Lohans and Britneys, I have a feeling that she has stretched her presence. She creates the illusion of power, and all of us fools fall into her claws. She is deceiving and picaresque, she is selfish and loathing. She is one of the most brilliant deceivers to those she encounters. Most everyone is deceived, and the few who are not-well, then they seem to be filled with wickedness and jealously. You see, from the outside, this girl seems to be it-I mean IT. She is beautiful, sometimes TOO beautiful. You find yourself asking how someone who is so visibly in front of you can be so beautiful. This causes awe, her life is a mystery. She seems to have it all, people at her feet, looks, the best clothes, the hottest accessories, the latest gizmo's, men throwing themselves at her--and you ask yourself, is this for real? Really, can there really be someone so fortunate? What always tipped it over the edge for me were two things--if he was genuinely nice & if she was intelligent. These two idiosyncrasies added to her already abundant resume made me lose it. Why? Simply because these two were mine, they have always been mine. Even when I was not the most known or the best dressed, i was always the most intelligent or the nicest of the bunch. And frankly, how can you hate someone that is nice or intelligent? You cannot--okay, maybe you can, but your conscience gets to you. So this girl, I have come across her many times, for she had always been in my life, whether it be in school, at home, at work, on the cover of my favorite magazine--she was always there, and I was intrigued by her. Not that that was a big surprise, for that was what made her, her. She needed to captivate people with her enigmatic stare. I was interested her in a different way though. I was interested in her dark secrets, her flaws, the very things that she seemed to lack. Call it my journalistic intuition, but I was never satisfied with what little she gave us, as we gave her so much. We put her on a pedestal, we made her our idol, but she never gave us more than a blank stare and hope under false pretenses. To a woman, she gave hope that she would be our best friend, that she would give us fashion and beauty advice-and even perilous, she gave us the hope that we could one day be her. To men, she gave that ultimate sexual fantasy. She allowed men who would otherwise have no chance with any girl to get close to her. She would make them into her best friends, and to some 'fortunate one' she would allow to be what people refer to as a boyfriend. She had all types of men following her around--she dated the occasional nice one, but they always seemed too available. She needed someone dangerous, the epitome of a lowlife--she needed a bad boy. She dated the bad boy who treats her like dirt, because he had found the secret to her vulnerability is mistreating her. She allows him to do so with such peace, but she always keeps around her nice guy so he may pick up the pieces.

This bad boy, he is her poison, the one who slowly deteriorates her very being. This is where my intrigue becomes escalated, for she is practically the most perfect being in your school or your work or your family, why does she allow this to happen to her?
Is it because there is a cycle of 'perfect women' and once they have reached the very top, they must room for the next set? Or rather, is it because there really is no such thing as perfection and with all her amazing attributes, her flaws are bound to show up somewhere? Perhaps it is both, or perhaps it is neither. Perhaps the flaws are there, and they are quite visible but rather we choose not to see them because we NEED this girl, we need to look up to her. Without her, women would not aspire to be more beautiful, more innovative, more successful, more self-valued and men would not be intrigued, nice, or--well, I am not a man, so I cannot fully depict what she does to them, but she sure has an impact.

as I mentioned earlier, the type of person that is not deceived by her presumed perfection are automatically tagged as jealous or wicked. I was that girl. That is to say, I was never actually told by anyone in particular that I was jealous of the current perfect girl, but through societal agenda, my very own mind betrayed me. It made me think that when I wondered if the girl had flaws, I was actually jealous of her fortune. I can now say that it was never the case. I do tend to get jealous from time to time. Never has it been about a boyfriend. It has always been about life. I would curse at fate and life for giving others better fortune. In that sense, I guess that could include the perfect girl. However, I always wondered why. Why, was she so fortunate to have such beauty? Even furthermore, was she happy with her beauty? Did she work hard to maintain it? Did it bother her that guys were always throwing themselves at her and girls were trying to be her? Where was her limit? What would break her down? I was not trying to be mean, but I just wanted to make her as human as possible. Maybe for the very same reason as all the others were putting her on a pedestal--because I wanted to believe that I could be her too.

So I befriended her--I have always been the girl who you can trust with your secrets. I truly listen and I give advice. For some reason I think our world lacks these qualities in a person, because I seem to attract many people due to it. That, however, is a dangerous thing, because once person feels comfortable and they start talking, there is no stopping them. Loose lips sink ships they say.

I also watched carefully, I watched patterns, I stalked myspace pages, I listened to what other people had to say, but most importantly I observed. I watched what bothered them the most, what hurt them the most, what gave them most joy, and what they cared nothing about. By doing so, I have found many patterns and conclusions. Conclusions as to why she needs to be attached to the bad boy, why she assumes hersef better than others, why she breaks rules, why she plays with hearts, and all in all I have come to one simple conclusion:

This girl is nothing but a pathetic little thing.

She is such an insecure head case that she puts her life into searching other people's approval--or rather other people's worship. The funny thing is that she is the master at making it seem so effortless so the rest of us can feel impotent. She loves to lure boys because of lack of attention or downright absence of her father. She loves her lackeys because her mother never told her that she was beautiful, she loves her head to toe designer look because sometime in her life, she was rejected by some higher click. This is her revenge--only it is a revenge against her own illusion. You see, she has created this illusion where she is the victim into all these things because of her experiences. But remember, she is human. What is a humans favorite thing to do? Blame others. You see, her mind has allowed her to blame others for simple things that she always had control over. She likes to blame her mother for ruining her life, but she never thinks about the times she made her mother suffer. The way her mother was only looking out for her best interest, the way she yelled back at her mother, the times she made her mother worry, the times her mother cooked and washed for her, the times she took care of her, the times she gave up everything for her.

this girl is just the master of the blame game...
she is Penny Lame, Kate Moss and Lindsay Lohan.
She is cocaine, alcohol and bulimia.
She is a heart breaker, a lover and backstabber..
She is a poser, a loser and a fake....

but most of all she just wants your approval,
because she is pathetic...

and i for one, am through with the sympathy
am I a bitch?
maybe...but only because I have dealt with her for too long,
only because she has so much good in her, she is so intelligent, she has all the skills to succeed, but what does she do with them?
she throws them away for cheap thrills in cheap hotel rooms
for a less-than-perfect boy or for judging people
she throws it away for absolutely nothing

and I don't know about you, but that is my definition of
the absolutely pathetic little girl."


-melidee